remember how i'm sick. and NOT overdosing on ibuprofen.
well, the doctor can't figure out what's wrong with me.
to try and help him, he stole the blood out of my arm and did tests on it. i will not even attempt to recount this experience. it was bad. let's just sum it up by saying i had to sit at the doctor's office for an hour after the blood was taken because the nurse didn't think i was capable of driving home without passing out. awesome.
but that's not the point.
the point is, they did the blood work.
and they still don't know what's wrong with me. (so all the trauma i went through was for nothing. so pissed.)
because the blood says i don't have mono, but the doctor thinks i probably do have mono. how does this make sense?
i will tell you what he taught me:
one out of twenty mono tests are wrong.
so i could have mono even though my blood says i don't have mono. accuracy points do not go to the mono test. that's all i'm saying.
so thanks doctor for teaching me that annoying fact. too bad i can't thank you for figuring out what is wrong with me.
get better soon, me.
Tuesday, August 30, 2011
Saturday, August 27, 2011
ibuprofen: the gateway drug.
i have been sick for the last week.
unfortunately, i was FORCED to go to the doctor, which i was highly opposed to because i figured the doctor wouldn't be able to do anything for me.
i was right.
she said, drink lots of water and take ibuprofen to keep the fever down.
wow, you went to 8+ years of school to tell me that? seriously? but whatevs.
i did as directed.
but when my mom opened the ibuprofen bottle and realized it was near empty, she freaked. and took the pills away from me. she was concerned i was going a little overboard with those little orange pills. i assure you, i was not. in fact, i was on the conservative side of the doctor's orders.
plus, coach sawyer taught me that there's a simple way to know if you've had too many ibuprofen. i believe the direct quote was, "you know you've had too much when white foam starts coming out of your mouth with the words ibuprofen written on it."
and that hadn't happened yet. so i knew my mom had nothing to worry about.
so thanks for all you taught me, coach. it was nice to be able to reassure my mother that i was not overdosing. i knew you taught me something...
unfortunately, i was FORCED to go to the doctor, which i was highly opposed to because i figured the doctor wouldn't be able to do anything for me.
i was right.
she said, drink lots of water and take ibuprofen to keep the fever down.
wow, you went to 8+ years of school to tell me that? seriously? but whatevs.
i did as directed.
but when my mom opened the ibuprofen bottle and realized it was near empty, she freaked. and took the pills away from me. she was concerned i was going a little overboard with those little orange pills. i assure you, i was not. in fact, i was on the conservative side of the doctor's orders.
plus, coach sawyer taught me that there's a simple way to know if you've had too many ibuprofen. i believe the direct quote was, "you know you've had too much when white foam starts coming out of your mouth with the words ibuprofen written on it."
and that hadn't happened yet. so i knew my mom had nothing to worry about.
so thanks for all you taught me, coach. it was nice to be able to reassure my mother that i was not overdosing. i knew you taught me something...
Wednesday, August 17, 2011
finding your soulmate.
i love my family.
i do.
extended included.
there is just this teeny tiny problem with some of my relatives.
that problem being, they think my dating life concerns them. now, i am not opposed to set ups. actually, that's kind of a lie. i hate set ups. mostly because all of my blind dates have been painful. like, really painful. so when family members try to interfere and find my soulmate for me, i am not always a huge fan.
now, some of you might be thinking that i am overreacting.
can i just give you a few examples to show that i am not, in fact, overreacting.
example 1. a salesman comes to our door. selling security systems. my dad strikes up a conversation with said salesman. they talk for thirty minutes. my dad thinks this is a great young man--because you can tell that after thirty minutes of talking. so what does he do? oh, he just suggests to the salesman that he come back in two months when i'll be living at home again. then my dad proceeds to stalk this guy on facebook and plan our wedding. by the way, i met this guy three months later. not bad looking...but really, dad? really??
example 2. so i have this aunt. and she has this friend. this friend is my age. and single. so basically, we're meant for each other. except before we were meant for each other, he was meant for my other cousin. only problem is, my other cousin got married. so NOW he is meant for me. and i am meant for him. my picture has been shown to him on previous occasions. and yet, he hasn't called me. my aunt refuses to give up. pretty sure he isn't interested. really, aunt? really??
example 3. another aunt. at work. attractive young man comes in for a job interview. she's the secretary so she starts talking to him. she finds out he went to my high school. in fact, we have known each other since we were in kindergarten. she tells him he should ask me out. um. he's had that option for about 15 years now. if he wanted to, he would. so probably you shouldn't just suggest things like that and make me look desperate. thanks, aunt.
example 4. grandma. i love you grandma. but when you go to a wedding reception and start talking to the DJ, and you find out that he goes to a singles ward (so OBVIOUSLY he's single.), please do not write down my name and tell him that he should find me on facebook. just a thought. i do appreciate your reassurance that he is attractive and that you wouldn't do this unless "you had a good feeling about him," but really, grandma? really??
now, i would just like to reiterate that i LOVE MY FAMILY! and i have learned (from my mother who lectures me about complaining about their interfering ways--thanks, mom) that they are only looking out for me. because they love me. and want the best for me. but i really think i'm okay in this department. i can handle it. and if i can't handle it, i can always defer to the "finding your soulmate" book that my grandpa gave me.
and if you still think i'm overreacting, then judge me. i just needed to vent. that's all. the end.
i do.
extended included.
there is just this teeny tiny problem with some of my relatives.
that problem being, they think my dating life concerns them. now, i am not opposed to set ups. actually, that's kind of a lie. i hate set ups. mostly because all of my blind dates have been painful. like, really painful. so when family members try to interfere and find my soulmate for me, i am not always a huge fan.
now, some of you might be thinking that i am overreacting.
can i just give you a few examples to show that i am not, in fact, overreacting.
example 1. a salesman comes to our door. selling security systems. my dad strikes up a conversation with said salesman. they talk for thirty minutes. my dad thinks this is a great young man--because you can tell that after thirty minutes of talking. so what does he do? oh, he just suggests to the salesman that he come back in two months when i'll be living at home again. then my dad proceeds to stalk this guy on facebook and plan our wedding. by the way, i met this guy three months later. not bad looking...but really, dad? really??
example 2. so i have this aunt. and she has this friend. this friend is my age. and single. so basically, we're meant for each other. except before we were meant for each other, he was meant for my other cousin. only problem is, my other cousin got married. so NOW he is meant for me. and i am meant for him. my picture has been shown to him on previous occasions. and yet, he hasn't called me. my aunt refuses to give up. pretty sure he isn't interested. really, aunt? really??
example 3. another aunt. at work. attractive young man comes in for a job interview. she's the secretary so she starts talking to him. she finds out he went to my high school. in fact, we have known each other since we were in kindergarten. she tells him he should ask me out. um. he's had that option for about 15 years now. if he wanted to, he would. so probably you shouldn't just suggest things like that and make me look desperate. thanks, aunt.
example 4. grandma. i love you grandma. but when you go to a wedding reception and start talking to the DJ, and you find out that he goes to a singles ward (so OBVIOUSLY he's single.), please do not write down my name and tell him that he should find me on facebook. just a thought. i do appreciate your reassurance that he is attractive and that you wouldn't do this unless "you had a good feeling about him," but really, grandma? really??
now, i would just like to reiterate that i LOVE MY FAMILY! and i have learned (from my mother who lectures me about complaining about their interfering ways--thanks, mom) that they are only looking out for me. because they love me. and want the best for me. but i really think i'm okay in this department. i can handle it. and if i can't handle it, i can always defer to the "finding your soulmate" book that my grandpa gave me.
and if you still think i'm overreacting, then judge me. i just needed to vent. that's all. the end.
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