sometimes.

sometimes, i really miss my old job.
you see, i used to be a teacher's aide.  best job ever?  i think yes.

because kids are the greatest.  and spending all day with 3-5 year olds is pure bliss (most of the time).  also hilarious.  because they say things like this:

T:  "coffee is like hot cocoa but with lots more bubbles!"

S:  "when my mom makes disgusting food, we give it to our dog."

L:  "we are gonna be best friends forever.  come on carson."
C:  "um. my name is connor."

out of nowhere, i hear the loudest screeching noise of my entire human life.
me:  "B, what was that?"
B:  "that was a dying cat."

me:  "A, i like your haircut."
A:  "yeah!  i'm not wolfman anymore!"

T exiting the bathroom:  "there's no more pee left."

H had a cut on his finger so i asked what happened. he looked at me. then at his finger.  then back at me, with a thoughtful expression.  and then he replied...
"well...my skin fell off!"

BURRRRP.
me:  "A, what do you say?"
A:  "thank you!!"
i was going for excuse me, but i'll take it.


after telling B's mom about her accident at school, her mom turns to her and says:  "B, i told you if you pee on their floor you can't come back to school."
B's quick reply: "but it wasn't on the floor!  it was on the chair!"
technically, it WAS on the chair....


and of course, my personal favorite:
N:  "i don't like you miss amy.....(long, dramatic pause)....
I LOVE YOU!"

i love you too, kiddos.  and i miss you.  lots.

sweet dreams.

do you ever have things happen in your real live life.  and it feels like it's happened before.  or you knew it was going to happen.  like you dreamed about it.

i mean, i guess that's kinda what the term de ja vu is for.

but this isn't like chunks of time i'm talking about here.  i'm talking about small, insignificant things.  like opening a new toothbrush that is blue and feeling like you knew, you just KNEW, that was going to happen.  like you dreamed about it.

because if that doesn't ever happen to you then i think i am officially going crazy.  because it has happened to me quite a few times lately.  trippy.

kamikaze.

it is deathly hot outside these days.

and it is only going to get hotter.  because that is what happens when you live in arizona.

another thing that happens when you live in arizona in the summertime is you get to see lots of pigeons.
dead. pigeons.
in the middle of the road.

i used to wonder why the number of birds escalated in the summer months.  then i figured it out.  it's because the heat causes them to either a) be unable fly fast enough to get out of the way of moving cars.  or b) have heat stroke mid-flight and fall from the sky into the middle of the road.  and then people run them over.  and they die.  dead.

now, up until this day, i was proud to say i never caused the inevitable death of one of these poor pigeons (and i use the term "poor" loosely since we all know i'm not really that torn up about a few dead birds).  but that ended today.

let me just tell you what happened.

i was driving along in my car.  jamming to carly rae jepsen, as is my usual.  when all of a sudden, a bird flies right into my car.  but this pigeon does not take the usual route and hit the windshield.  oh  no.  this stupid pigeon smacks right into the driver side window.  as in, if my window had been rolled down this bird would've straight up hit me in the cheek.  this also means that i did not see the bird coming.  and consequently, the smack it made scared me.  bad.  i may or may not have screamed.

also, i may or may not have killed the bird.

RIP kamikaze pigeon.  no doubt you will be joined by many friends as the temperatures rise.

put a ring on it.

so probs you should all prepare to judge me.  because what i am about to tell you is shameful.

so here's what happened.

i was at a fireside tonight.  being so righteous.  and i ran into a friend.  okay, so she probably is more of an acquaintance than a friend.  but that's irrelevant, really.  here is what is relevant:  the last time i talked to her, she had just gotten engaged.  so i went up to her and was like oh hey girl heyyy!  how are the wedding plans going?

she responded by saying nothing.

instead, she just lifted her left hand for me to see.  no more ring.

now, my first thought should have been, oh poor thing are you okay?  or maybe, um.  this is awkward.

but do you wanna know what really ran through my head when she showed me her bare left hand...
phew.  she got rid of that heinous ring.

OH MY GOSH.  am i just the most terrible person ever?  i think maybe.  at least the most unsympathetic.

now, do not worry.  i did not articulate my thoughts to her.  because that would just be the ultimate rude.  but as long as we're being honest here, her ring really was my least favorite engagement ring i have ever seen in my entire human life (and i have seen some pretty terrible rings, lemme tell ya).  totally not my style.  i would never wear it.  probs if a man proposed to me with the ring her ex proposed to her with, i would say, baby, i'm glad you liked it enough to wanna put a ring on it (cue beyonce dance move)  BUT that ring is hideous and unless you exchange it, i would not marry you.

okay, now judge away.

and pray the man who proposes to me (someday...) has fabulous taste in engagement rings.  else we may have a problem.

cupcake girl.

so i was partially in charge of this social tonight.

i had to run the cake walk.

you may be wondering if this social was for young children, considering there was a cake walk.  i will tell you, it was not.  it was for young single adults.  as in, 20-something year olds.  we are really cool.  obviously.

so i'm running the cake walk, which was actually a cupcake walk since i wasn't about to make cakes to give away.  no way, jose.  so it was cupcakes.  but all if this is pretty irrelevant information.  the relevant information is, i was running the cake walk and this guy comes up.  we start talking.  and then he was like, "you were in my math class in high school.  i probably don't look the same, but you do.  except your hair isn't blonde anymore.  it's red."

whoawhoawhoa.  excuse me, please.  my hair is not red.  i mean, it's not blonde anymore.  he was right about that much.  and it was nighttime.  so maybe he has a valid excuse for thinking my hair was red.  but not really.  because, hello, he took calculus in high school.  this kid has a brain.  and yet, he does not know what the color red looks like.  i am seriously concerned for him.  i mean, how does a grown man not know one of the primary colors?  i do not even know.

all i know is that my hair is not red.

just thought i'd clarify that.  now i am done.

except one more thing, the reason this post is called cupcake girl is because as i was leaving the event, this guy yells "hey cupcake girl!" from across the parking lot.  and how i knew he was talking about me and decided to turn around and acknowledge him is beyond me.  but i did it.  cool story, huh?

yeah, i thought so.

hughugkisskiss,
cupcake girl.

layout

here's the thing. i have never complained about f book's changes to their layout. i mean, i get over those changes pretty quickly considering how little time i spend on the website. oh wait, probs i spend way more time on the facebook dot com than i should, but that's not the point. the point is, i have never said excuse me please mr. f book man whose name i can't remember, can you stop changing the layout of facebook? because i could really care less. however, i feel the need to complain for just one short second about the new blogger layout. i'm not sure i can get over the fact that when i press "enter" as in, new paragraph, it does not go to a new paragraph. now maybe i am just seriously technologically challenged. scratch that, i KNOW i am seriously technologically challenged, but it should not be that difficult for me to start a new paragraph on my blog post. it just shouldn't. also, full disclosure here, when the new layout was introduced, it took me a total of four clicks, FOUR CLICKS PEOPLE, to "view blog" correctly. nothing should be that hard. and i refuse to blame this entirely on my stupidity. i flat out refuse. now, speaking of laying out, i totes need a tan. so bad. how do i know i need a tan? i will tell you. last week i was getting ready to go out and my mom walks in my bathroom. she looks at me as says dangggg girrrl you is WHITE! okay, so probs my mom does not really speak like that. although let's be honest, it would be pretty entertaining if she did. but regardless of the exact phrasing of her sentence, she did tell me i was white. and then yesterday when we were walking to church she said girl, you need to get you's a spray tan. (again, not sure why i feel the need to make my mom sound like an uneducated gangster/hick speaker. i assure you, she is not. but that is not the point. the point is...) MY MOM told me i needed to get tan. not just a tan, a spray tan. as in, let's resort to the quickest method of dewhitening your skin possible because you are pastypasty white. do not even worry, i will not be getting a spray tan. but i will be getting a real live tan. not sure when. not sure how. considering i work all the day long when the sun is shining. but it is going to happen. and that is all i have to say about that.